August Caption Contest! Win $25!

 Posted by on August 3, 2012
Aug 032012
A TV interviewer interviewing Chasidic peopleAugust Caption Contest with Guest Judge!

I am excited to announce that the August caption contest will be guest judged by none other than the venerated blogger Mississippi Fred MacDowell from “On the Main Line“, whose incredible blog has been a long time favorite of mine. We will open this cartoon for a month of caption submissions in the comments – as usual. Fred MacDowell will evaluate your contributions and announce the finalists/winner when the month is up. I assure you only ethical tactics were employed in the process of getting his cooperation and no animals were harmed in the experiment.

Please share your witty and funny thoughts! Make someone laugh. Yourself, mostly. And winner takes home the grand prize of the guest judge! No, not. Sorry. The prize will be TWO THOUSAND FIVE HUNDRED CENTS! Aka $25 USD! Even if you don’t need this grand prize and have enough money to throw around, we hope you will contribute. Your money, I mean. Seriously, your caption comment. Each and every one of them are gems and make others laugh.

Please remember to include your email address in the comment (it will not be shown) so we can paypal you the winnings.

Frieda Vizel

Frieda Vizel left the Hasidic community, the Modern Orthodox community and the Formerly Orthodox (OTD) community. She now lives in Pomona and is actively looking for a new community to leave. She deals with the perplexities of the communities she left by drawing cartoons about them, a habit that gets her into an excellent amount of trouble.

  57 Responses to “August Caption Contest! Win $25!”

  1. …No its not true!

  2. No comment.

  3. And thats the recepie for my lukshen kugel… Thats all there is too it!

  4. Are u going to put this up on the internet?

  5. What do you mean by “Education” ¿

  6. Devoiry zug gurnisht!

  7. Mindy who?

  8. Molesting does not happen by us.. It’s all lies.

  9. Of course my kids learn Ainglish..

  10. “It’s not true! It’s not true! We don’t live in Jewland!”
    (said with a heavy Hasidic accent – especially on the “tr” in “true”)

  11. “What is it TV?”
    “EyeVittness News? Vus meint es?”

  12. “Just say Ruchl, Ruchl J”
    “Oh, and don’t show my face neither”

  13. “Shiksa, it’s a Jewish neighborhood here!”
    (Oops, wrong part of the globe….)

  14. Pearl Engelman: “There is no nice way of saying it. “Our community protects molesters. Other than that, we are wonderful.”

  15. “Mom, leave it alone. She’ll never get what kollel couple means!”

  16. “now let’s hear the Chasidsha nusach…”

  17. “Why do the media always confuse income with on the books?”

  18. Ma’am did you know rabbi Schwartz?
    No no I never met him, he never came in our shiel.

  19. “My neighbor’s daughter was her counselor in camp. Even then, Deborah Feldman was a liar.”

  20. “By us, it’s the nicest lifestyle.”

  21. I’ve always done metzitah bpeh.

  22. Want me to do MBP on that?

  23. Its not a shaleh, azoi iz bashert fin oiven!

  24. “She’s not my youngest! Don’t you see I’m pregnant?”

  25. “Because the rabbi endorsed him.”

  26. Omg! I am getting chills just from looking on this shiksa with those tight jeans but what can we do we are in gulis and we need to do it to protect our community so it’s an ovierah lishmoh!!

  27. Geraldo Rivera is a fraud….his momkela is a spic.. don’t say you heard it from me.

  28. Sharon Osborne is Not a yid….says she’s “half jew” I think she’s meshugna

  29. 40 year old spouse left the fold:

    I told him to choose; me or books. He chose books.

  30. He got lured in some cult of frei thinking people and left the community.

  31. On Hasidic dress style:

    This bend-on-the-shaitel tradition goes back 5000 years to our matriarch Sarah.

  32. On women’s rights:

    We don’t need it. We are happy with what we have.

  33. Democracy and women’s rights are good for secular people.

  34. We are not allowed to talk to the press. Our spokesperson will be here soon.

  35. Nothing happened here! (Camp Shalva)

  36. I told her it’s the family or the yeshiva…NOW she’s a mensh!” Veys mere what’s happening with the Vomen of today! We need to increase our population.

  37. What do your mean why?? because it was “bashert”

  38. “Eye Witness News, you say? Eyes are deceiving!”

  39. “Whatever I said, don’t use my name.”

  40. Sorry Miss, they are lubavitch and klausenburg we can only represent the Jewish neighborhood around here

  41. Before I say anything, which rabbi paid you to record this? I don’t want to get in trouble with my kids school.

  42. “No bias? I’ve never seen you report on how our community is free of drug abuse!”

  43. “No, no. Lest week was a different group of ‘Just a Few Bad Apples.'”

  44. Why i threw her out of the house?
    My daughter dates a shaved guy, she dropped her ?????? and ?????? and my grandson has no skullcap.

  45. I was inspired to run by Estelle Reiner in “When Harry Met Sally”

    Our community needs real leadership… Not like that ass kisser DG or loud mouth DH.

  46. “Here’s what really happened — I grabbed the 75% off Burberry silk scarf FIRST!”

  47. “Yes, yes, I’ll be running for state senate, inspired by Legally Gray.”

  48. “Unlike candidate Mayer, as state senator I promise I will fight not only for legally blondes, but also for wigged blondes.”

  49. “Bla bla bla. God, rabbi, bla bla bla, we believe it’s right, bla bla bla. Can I say what I think now?”

  50. “Well, then I plead the sixth!”

  51. “No comment. We don’t believe in cartoons.”

  52. My husband almost catched de ganef, but then he glitched out from his hent and he runned avay.

  53. Vhat’s duh matta, youse don’t like my schekel? What should I vear…a Kepot maybe? You goyium; neva satisfied vith a vomen’s hair piece.

  54. I vant to be a beeeeeg movie sta’ but my husband says “no!” So I must obey.

  55. “Are you married honey, here, meet my handsome, rich grandson, Jerome, the Doctor, someday”?! “I hope”?

  56. “A nice shiksa girl like you, you make a lot of money on the TV with this masugana job you don’t need, meet my handsome grandson, Herschel, the Doctor, someday?!

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