December Caption Contest

 Posted by on December 3, 2012
Dec 032012
 

Hi Everyone –

With the Weberman trial and the Rabbi in England who allegedly molested his female constituents there’s been a lot of conversation about men taking their pants off, so I thought the December cartoon caption contest should be something a little relevant (as promised!). I’ve been following the Weberman trial by asking insiders about it and reading outside reports, and the whole saga is fascinating, painful, an eye-opener. I hope to write some more about this soon. It’s the end of the semester, we’re right at the crunch, so I’m trying to make it through this last leg. Meanwhile, I need some lightening up with a good caption. Please leave a comment with your witty stuff. If you can be so witty on Facebook, c’mon, save some for a heimish doodle.

Winner of the December caption contest get’s an honorary announcement on this here blog and a special visit from Santa for being so naughtily nice.

A semi-naked Hasid going into a court room

Frieda Vizel

Frieda Vizel left the Hasidic community, the Modern Orthodox community and the Formerly Orthodox (OTD) community. She now lives in Pomona and is actively looking for a new community to leave. She deals with the perplexities of people by cartooning them, a habit her therapist calls passive aggressive but she calls A Blogpost for Oy Vey Cartoons.

  46 Responses to “December Caption Contest”

  1. This is the women’s entrance, you can go right in…

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 3 Thumb down 0

  2. “It’s the hat that they usually ask you to remove. But who knows?”

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 7 Thumb down 0

  3. “This way the judge won’t risk asking you to raise your hands and swear.”

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 3 Thumb down 0

  4. “Let them see, I always did my courtship business after a dip in the mikvah.”

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 0

  5. Wait! I still have on my Rabbeini Tams!

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 3 Thumb down 0

  6. So can I do some counseling service to the judge?

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 0

  7. sir, dont get too excited, there are no children in this courtroom.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 3 Thumb down 0

  8. “Sir! Try to keep your pants on during trial. Appreciated!”

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

  9. “So that the jury gets distracted by my six pack.”

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

  10. “I’m so ready for קרויס examination!”

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 3 Thumb down 1

  11. Seriously?? The jury will find you guilty in a heartbeat if you walk in like that!

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 2

  12. “Defense counsel announced that his client will take the stand. A one night stand!”

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 3 Thumb down 0

  13. This strategy your Rabbi came up with is mamesh gevaldig!! The jury will think you’re a nebich and have such rachmonus for you that they will just dismiss the case.. Takeh gevaldig!

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

  14. נאך א מזל כ׳האב ארויף געדרייט די פיאות, זאל כאטש נישט זיין קיין חילול השם.

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 14 Thumb down 0

  15. Going courting.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 2 Thumb down 0

  16. Uh, this is awkward.. this is not one of those heimishe courts where they turn a blind eye to what you are doing/wearing… you better get dressed!

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

  17. ער שטייט נאך דארט פון נעכטען, זעהט אויס אז דער אנדערער איז נאך ווייט נישט פארטיג

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

  18. Excuse my appearance, I was on my way to counsel some young girl…

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 3 Thumb down 0

  19. Heard there are some “hot” discussions going on in here, so I dressed accordingly.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 0

  20. “Of course it’s a good strategy. You’re irresistible, right? When they see your bod they’ll totally acquit.”

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

  21. Hey! The water fountain in front of the courthouse is not a mikvah!

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

  22. The truth isn’t what’s important in this room, what matters is that the jury think you’re ‘clean’

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 0

  23. Let’s not tell anyone what just happened…

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

  24. Yep, definitely the insanity plea.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 4 Thumb down 0

  25. “See – if it doesn’t fit they must acquit”

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 0

  26. “So; appear confident, let me do my job, and remember -no matter what, you enjoy the entire community’s support. Just one thing. Under no circumstances should you masturbate in the room we are about to enter.”

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 0

  27. “Forkosh “u tink I’m stupet? By de maluchim vee say mater aseerim before malbish areemem”

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 5 Thumb down 0

  28. “I.. I, I’m saaaarry, at de lunch break I vent to my uffice, end a mechitzef tvelf yir old stole my cloding”

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 3 Thumb down 0

  29. When in Rome, do what the Romans do… Oh, wait, you’re Satmar, these rules don’t apply to you…

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

  30. “I’ll remind them of shirtless Joseph falsely accused by Mrs. Potiphar!”

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

  31. Really? You forget Shoes on a day like today? Oy Vey!

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 0

  32. “They’re being aired with the rest of the dirty laundry.”

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 2 Thumb down 0

  33. Sorry about that guilty verdict. Next time keep your pants on!

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 1

  34. Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Poorly-rated. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 8

  35. Half Staff? or Full Staff?

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

  36. I’m the quack therapist. Quack Quack

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

  37. Sure, you can wear whatever you want, this is a no judgement zone…

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

  38. ער’ס קוים ארויס מיט די גאטשעס

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 0

  39. Ashmedai– this is commentator #33. I have thought about what you said and realized that you are absolutely right, my comment was very insensitive. I take that comment back and am resubmitting the following:

    “Burech Hashem for the guilty verdict. Next time keep your pants on!”

    Is that better Asmedai? If not, i can also say:

    “Burech Hashem that the jury found you guilty. Now you wont be able to hurt girls anymore!”

    Let me know which one you prefer…

    Thanks!

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

  40. Put your pants on, there are cameras In the court-room

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

  41. terrorist therapist looses trousers to truth

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

  42. oops email should read lagis

    caption:
    terrorist therapist looses tousers to truth

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

  43. “I’ll show them my bris koidesh and they’ll all run away in fear.”

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 2 Thumb down 0

  44. a the-rapist does not need to wear any pants…

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

  45. If this is your idea of “santa” then you can keep him, I def dont want a visit from him.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

  46. I just came across your blog and your cartoons. Since it appears this December contest was never decided, here are five more entries:

    1. “Don’t worry — you think the judge has never seen a rabbi who lost his suit?”
    2. “As I understand the Torah, you’ll have your purity back at sundown. But as I understand the DA’s office, getting your clothes back will take considerably longer.”
    3. “Don’t worry, I’ll tell the judge I’m filing a motion to suppress — you had a reasonable expectation of privacy in your clothes, even though you weren’t wearing them.”
    4. “Remember, you fell into a pool of water — do NOT say “mikvah.”
    5. “Shouldn’t that towel have tzitzit?”

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

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