December Caption Contest

 Posted by on December 3, 2012
Dec 032012
 

Hi Everyone –

With the Weberman trial and the Rabbi in England who allegedly molested his female constituents there’s been a lot of conversation about men taking their pants off, so I thought the December cartoon caption contest should be something a little relevant (as promised!). I’ve been following the Weberman trial by asking insiders about it and reading outside reports, and the whole saga is fascinating, painful, an eye-opener. I hope to write some more about this soon. It’s the end of the semester, we’re right at the crunch, so I’m trying to make it through this last leg. Meanwhile, I need some lightening up with a good caption. Please leave a comment with your witty stuff. If you can be so witty on Facebook, c’mon, save some for a heimish doodle.

Winner of the December caption contest get’s an honorary announcement on this here blog and a special visit from Santa for being so naughtily nice.

A semi-naked Hasid going into a court room

Frieda Vizel

In between raising her son, racing triathlons and cramming for graduate school, Frieda keeps busy by doodling and writing essays about her transition from Hasidism to life as a woman who charts her own creative path, trials, blessings and all.

  46 Responses to “December Caption Contest”

  1. This is the women’s entrance, you can go right in…

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 3 Thumb down 0

  2. “It’s the hat that they usually ask you to remove. But who knows?”

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 7 Thumb down 0

  3. “This way the judge won’t risk asking you to raise your hands and swear.”

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 3 Thumb down 0

  4. “Let them see, I always did my courtship business after a dip in the mikvah.”

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 0

  5. Wait! I still have on my Rabbeini Tams!

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 3 Thumb down 0

  6. So can I do some counseling service to the judge?

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 0

  7. sir, dont get too excited, there are no children in this courtroom.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 3 Thumb down 0

  8. “Sir! Try to keep your pants on during trial. Appreciated!”

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

  9. “So that the jury gets distracted by my six pack.”

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

  10. “I’m so ready for קרויס examination!”

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 3 Thumb down 1

  11. Seriously?? The jury will find you guilty in a heartbeat if you walk in like that!

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 2

  12. “Defense counsel announced that his client will take the stand. A one night stand!”

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 3 Thumb down 0

  13. This strategy your Rabbi came up with is mamesh gevaldig!! The jury will think you’re a nebich and have such rachmonus for you that they will just dismiss the case.. Takeh gevaldig!

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

  14. נאך א מזל כ׳האב ארויף געדרייט די פיאות, זאל כאטש נישט זיין קיין חילול השם.

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 14 Thumb down 0

  15. Going courting.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 2 Thumb down 0

  16. Uh, this is awkward.. this is not one of those heimishe courts where they turn a blind eye to what you are doing/wearing… you better get dressed!

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

  17. ער שטייט נאך דארט פון נעכטען, זעהט אויס אז דער אנדערער איז נאך ווייט נישט פארטיג

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

  18. Excuse my appearance, I was on my way to counsel some young girl…

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 3 Thumb down 0

  19. Heard there are some “hot” discussions going on in here, so I dressed accordingly.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 0

  20. “Of course it’s a good strategy. You’re irresistible, right? When they see your bod they’ll totally acquit.”

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

  21. Hey! The water fountain in front of the courthouse is not a mikvah!

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

  22. The truth isn’t what’s important in this room, what matters is that the jury think you’re ‘clean’

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 0

  23. Let’s not tell anyone what just happened…

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

  24. Yep, definitely the insanity plea.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 4 Thumb down 0

  25. “See – if it doesn’t fit they must acquit”

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 0

  26. “So; appear confident, let me do my job, and remember -no matter what, you enjoy the entire community’s support. Just one thing. Under no circumstances should you masturbate in the room we are about to enter.”

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 0

  27. “Forkosh “u tink I’m stupet? By de maluchim vee say mater aseerim before malbish areemem”

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 5 Thumb down 0

  28. “I.. I, I’m saaaarry, at de lunch break I vent to my uffice, end a mechitzef tvelf yir old stole my cloding”

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 3 Thumb down 0

  29. When in Rome, do what the Romans do… Oh, wait, you’re Satmar, these rules don’t apply to you…

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

  30. “I’ll remind them of shirtless Joseph falsely accused by Mrs. Potiphar!”

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

  31. Really? You forget Shoes on a day like today? Oy Vey!

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 0

  32. “They’re being aired with the rest of the dirty laundry.”

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 2 Thumb down 0

  33. Sorry about that guilty verdict. Next time keep your pants on!

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 1

  34. Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Poorly-rated. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 8

  35. Half Staff? or Full Staff?

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

  36. I’m the quack therapist. Quack Quack

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

  37. Sure, you can wear whatever you want, this is a no judgement zone…

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

  38. ער’ס קוים ארויס מיט די גאטשעס

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 0

  39. Ashmedai– this is commentator #33. I have thought about what you said and realized that you are absolutely right, my comment was very insensitive. I take that comment back and am resubmitting the following:

    “Burech Hashem for the guilty verdict. Next time keep your pants on!”

    Is that better Asmedai? If not, i can also say:

    “Burech Hashem that the jury found you guilty. Now you wont be able to hurt girls anymore!”

    Let me know which one you prefer…

    Thanks!

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

  40. Put your pants on, there are cameras In the court-room

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

  41. terrorist therapist looses trousers to truth

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

  42. oops email should read lagis

    caption:
    terrorist therapist looses tousers to truth

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

  43. “I’ll show them my bris koidesh and they’ll all run away in fear.”

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 2 Thumb down 0

  44. a the-rapist does not need to wear any pants…

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

  45. If this is your idea of “santa” then you can keep him, I def dont want a visit from him.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

  46. I just came across your blog and your cartoons. Since it appears this December contest was never decided, here are five more entries:

    1. “Don’t worry — you think the judge has never seen a rabbi who lost his suit?”
    2. “As I understand the Torah, you’ll have your purity back at sundown. But as I understand the DA’s office, getting your clothes back will take considerably longer.”
    3. “Don’t worry, I’ll tell the judge I’m filing a motion to suppress — you had a reasonable expectation of privacy in your clothes, even though you weren’t wearing them.”
    4. “Remember, you fell into a pool of water — do NOT say “mikvah.”
    5. “Shouldn’t that towel have tzitzit?”

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

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