Hi Everyone –
With the Weberman trial and the Rabbi in England who allegedly molested his female constituents there’s been a lot of conversation about men taking their pants off, so I thought the December cartoon caption contest should be something a little relevant (as promised!). I’ve been following the Weberman trial by asking insiders about it and reading outside reports, and the whole saga is fascinating, painful, an eye-opener. I hope to write some more about this soon. It’s the end of the semester, we’re right at the crunch, so I’m trying to make it through this last leg. Meanwhile, I need some lightening up with a good caption. Please leave a comment with your witty stuff. If you can be so witty on Facebook, c’mon, save some for a heimish doodle.
Winner of the December caption contest get’s an honorary announcement on this here blog and a special visit from Santa for being so naughtily nice.
This is the women’s entrance, you can go right in…
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“It’s the hat that they usually ask you to remove. But who knows?”
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“This way the judge won’t risk asking you to raise your hands and swear.”
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“Let them see, I always did my courtship business after a dip in the mikvah.”
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Wait! I still have on my Rabbeini Tams!
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So can I do some counseling service to the judge?
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sir, dont get too excited, there are no children in this courtroom.
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“Sir! Try to keep your pants on during trial. Appreciated!”
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“So that the jury gets distracted by my six pack.”
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“I’m so ready for קרויס examination!”
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Seriously?? The jury will find you guilty in a heartbeat if you walk in like that!
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“Defense counsel announced that his client will take the stand. A one night stand!”
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This strategy your Rabbi came up with is mamesh gevaldig!! The jury will think you’re a nebich and have such rachmonus for you that they will just dismiss the case.. Takeh gevaldig!
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נאך א מזל כ׳האב ארויף געדרייט די פיאות, זאל כאטש נישט זיין קיין חילול השם.
Well-loved. Like or Dislike:
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Going courting.
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Uh, this is awkward.. this is not one of those heimishe courts where they turn a blind eye to what you are doing/wearing… you better get dressed!
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ער שטייט נאך דארט פון נעכטען, זעהט אויס אז דער אנדערער איז נאך ווייט נישט פארטיג
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Excuse my appearance, I was on my way to counsel some young girl…
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Heard there are some “hot” discussions going on in here, so I dressed accordingly.
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“Of course it’s a good strategy. You’re irresistible, right? When they see your bod they’ll totally acquit.”
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Hey! The water fountain in front of the courthouse is not a mikvah!
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The truth isn’t what’s important in this room, what matters is that the jury think you’re ‘clean’
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Let’s not tell anyone what just happened…
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Yep, definitely the insanity plea.
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“See – if it doesn’t fit they must acquit”
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“So; appear confident, let me do my job, and remember -no matter what, you enjoy the entire community’s support. Just one thing. Under no circumstances should you masturbate in the room we are about to enter.”
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“Forkosh “u tink I’m stupet? By de maluchim vee say mater aseerim before malbish areemem”
Well-loved. Like or Dislike:
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“I.. I, I’m saaaarry, at de lunch break I vent to my uffice, end a mechitzef tvelf yir old stole my cloding”
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When in Rome, do what the Romans do… Oh, wait, you’re Satmar, these rules don’t apply to you…
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“I’ll remind them of shirtless Joseph falsely accused by Mrs. Potiphar!”
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Really? You forget Shoes on a day like today? Oy Vey!
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“They’re being aired with the rest of the dirty laundry.”
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Sorry about that guilty verdict. Next time keep your pants on!
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Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
Poorly-rated. Like or Dislike:
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Half Staff? or Full Staff?
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I’m the quack therapist. Quack Quack
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Sure, you can wear whatever you want, this is a no judgement zone…
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ער’ס קוים ארויס מיט די גאטשעס
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Ashmedai– this is commentator #33. I have thought about what you said and realized that you are absolutely right, my comment was very insensitive. I take that comment back and am resubmitting the following:
“Burech Hashem for the guilty verdict. Next time keep your pants on!”
Is that better Asmedai? If not, i can also say:
“Burech Hashem that the jury found you guilty. Now you wont be able to hurt girls anymore!”
Let me know which one you prefer…
Thanks!
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Put your pants on, there are cameras In the court-room
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terrorist therapist looses trousers to truth
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oops email should read lagis
caption:
terrorist therapist looses tousers to truth
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“I’ll show them my bris koidesh and they’ll all run away in fear.”
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a the-rapist does not need to wear any pants…
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If this is your idea of “santa” then you can keep him, I def dont want a visit from him.
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I just came across your blog and your cartoons. Since it appears this December contest was never decided, here are five more entries:
1. “Don’t worry — you think the judge has never seen a rabbi who lost his suit?”
2. “As I understand the Torah, you’ll have your purity back at sundown. But as I understand the DA’s office, getting your clothes back will take considerably longer.”
3. “Don’t worry, I’ll tell the judge I’m filing a motion to suppress — you had a reasonable expectation of privacy in your clothes, even though you weren’t wearing them.”
4. “Remember, you fell into a pool of water — do NOT say “mikvah.”
5. “Shouldn’t that towel have tzitzit?”
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