Jul 032014
 

The Senate unanimously signed a bill today making it a requirement for all bathtub manufacturers to attach a product warning to caution users not to throw away the baby with the bathwater. The bill passed the House late last week and is now on the President’s desk. Obama made it clear that he will sign the bill into law immediately and that there will be no revisions to the bill language to ensure that there is no delay.

baby bathwater

The urgent appeal for this new mandate was brought to Washington’s attention after many years of human rights lobbying to stop the tragic incidents of babies being thrown out together with bathwater. “There are unfortunately lazy folk” said the author of the bill, Senator Richard DeMint, in an exclusive conversation with Oy Vey Cartoons, “they empty the tub and with it the baby and they continue to use the tub for the next baby, etcetera. Americans can no longer ignore this waste. I am proud that we were able to come together today in a bipartisan vote on this important issue that concerns the wellbeing and prosperity of this great country. I promised the people from my state that I will eradicate this practice. Today, I delivered to the people of Minnesota.”

The exceptionally quick turnaround on this law was prompted by the tragedy last week in Brooklyn, NY, when a woman was arrested for throwing out her baby with the bathwater. The call came to the 91st precinct of the NYC police from an unsuspecting neighbor, Mrs. Blumenkrantzenholzenburgenboym, who was on her way to the wig maker when she noticed her neighbor Sury Green, age 32, emptying her tub and her baby in her backyard and then leaving the premises. “I looked out from my snood,” said a visibly shaken Mrs. Blumenkrantzenholzenburgenboym, “and saw that poor baby lying there in the dumps! I was horrified and called 911! Thank God the cops came and took matters under control immediately!”

Sury Green is held in solitary confinement in the La Guardian Penitentiary with no bail, and is said to have her first hearing next week. Our telephone calls to her cell were not returned. In a call to her lawyer Mordy Greenblatt, Greenblatt confirmed the charges of second degree manslaughter and said that Sury will plead not guilty because she does not have a baby or a bathtub.

Senator DeMint contacted the family last week as the new broke to express his condolences and to promise to move forward with legislation to ban this practice. He flew in for a private meeting with Mrs. Blumenkrantzenholzenburgenboym where he listened to her first-hand account of the tragedy and gathered the information necessary to formulate the bill.

As the two left the meeting they stood for photo ops and then spoke a few words to the gathering crowd. “May God save the babies,” said DeMint, as he entered his limo with eyes red from obvious crying. “And may God bless America.”

 

Reporting by: Frieda Vizel/Bathtub, NY. Hand me a towel, someone! 

2014 Caption Contest

 Posted by on May 15, 2014
May 152014
 

UPDATE!

Thank you all so much for contributing to this caption contest and the one I had on Facebook (which Y Lopin nabbed.)

My favorite submission for this cartoon was Daas Hedyot’s caption alluding to the stir that erupted on Facebook after Rabbi Fink called a meeting between rabbis and some OTDs groundbreaking.

Caption: “If we have a summit and there’s no one to tell about it, is it still a groundbreaking summit?” – Daas Hedyot

I love it because it is smart and satirical and timely. But that’s the problem — it is timely, and it will be dated and strange within a month. We know how quickly a good brouhaha is forgotten these days. I’m trying to collect a gallery of cartoons that can be accessible and comprehensible to at least a quorum of readers. Otherwise I feel like I’m alone, laughing on an island, a groundbreaking moment that no one else appreciates. And we know the essence of an event lies in how many people click like and hear the evil laugh.

I chose a more general caption as the winner, by our very own Obama.

“Yup, we are definitely off the derech.” -Obama

Obama wins my magazine! Thanks :-)

I want to give a shout out to Daas Hedyot because his blog really influenced me, especially his interview series “Better Know a Kofer.” I’ll never forget when he launched it. I lived in Kiryas Joel then and the isolation and loneliness made a good post so much more exciting. Especially when XGH satirized the first interview – it’s a shame that the satire is no longer around. No internet event is complete without some good satire.

Check out the Better Know a Kofer series!

 

 

OTD Cartoon

 

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Obviously we’re down to doing a caption contest a year. Then it’ll be a contest a century, then it’ll be a millennia event. What am I saying, it’s already a millennia event.

I’m not reviving the blog. I just perceptively realize that people have a lot of witty things to say at the moment and it is my moral obligation to provide a safe and public environment for them to channel it. Especially if that environment involves me showing off the site’s major cosmetic makeover (thanks Eli, Shimon and Leo) especially the new Gallery tab on top. Looks fine, doesn’t it?

So see the doodle below. It’s the old cartoon of two people stranded on an island. It’s in need of a caption, something smart and funny and acerbic and insightful. Please don’t leave these two stranded Jews alone without a good joke. Come up with something. I’ll pick a winner based on bias, nepotism and irresistible hilarity.

IF YOU WIN: In the past, the winner got money, and it usually stayed in PayPal uncollected. Since money doesn’t sell, I’m upgrading my incentive: winner gets a copy of my New Leaf Magazine mailed to you, the winner, with no personal autograph whatsoever. You may even have to pay your own postage. But you’ll win this gem. The magazine is self-published — to this date there are three copies in circulation. It consists of half edited doodles and pretension, all good stuff. You want this. You will win this. You can do this. Etc. Go.

2014 Caption Contest